Of Professor s and peeing

One of the most awkward places to meet ur prof is in the urinal.Damn!I just hate it when it happens.Thankfully, its a thing of the past. No i still pee, i meant the prof part..i am not in college anymore. U just dont know what to do. A million questions race through ur mind.

Am i supposed to start up a converstaion?
No i cant talk to him or he might remember that the assignment was due today.And i hardly open my mouth in class so this wont look good.

Should i just stand there and do my thing while he does his?
What if he says as usual that we are like dead duds and dont interact?
How do u interact with ur Prof in the bloody loo?


Do i look up or look down?If down then down where?
Why the hell is he taking so long anyway? What the hell did he drink in the morning?
What the hell did i drink in the morning?
Is that slab in between high enough?
God, why have u made me so tall..?


I remember one such situation. I had just given a presentation in the auditorium and the cumulative effects of Coffee and the air-conditioning were beginning to take its toll.So as soon as my presentation was over, i rushed out to relieve myself.As i started the process, my Prof barged in. Well he is human too and he drinks coffee too, so...

Me: errrr...Good afternoon sir!*Did he hear me whistling?*

Him: Hello.*no he didnt*. That was one good presentation.

Me: Thank u sir

Him: Where r u doing ur research?

Me: *Yeah right, dont u understand the gravity of the situation?Am i the only 1 who is finding this uncomfortable?* IIT Delhi sir.

Him: alright. Did u check out the latest ENVIS newsletter?Its got a beautiful article on biopolymers (My research topic).

Me: *Only thing that i check out in the library is the librarian.Boy oh boy! She s a piece of work* No sir, I ll do it right away.

Him: Also I have this friend at NCL. Remind me to mail him and i ll see if he can help you with the Literature survey.

Me: Definitely sir.Thanks.Thats kind of you.

Him:So how do u plan to blend the lactic acid and the film grade polyethylene?

Me: Sir i am gonna use a blender and a film blower..........

So there we were, Prof and the student discussing the finer aspects of synthesizing biopolymers from waste ...standing adjacent in the urinal stand in the toilet of the Department, letting the ideas flow amongst other things....

What a week Already!

A-Rod lost
India s getting hammered all over the park
and Arsenal are out of the League Cup.

God, why are u doing this to me ?
Why put me through this ignominy?

Hey You

Hey you, out there in the cold

Getting lonely, getting old
Can you feel me?
Hey you, standing in the aisles
With itchy feet and fading smiles
Can you feel me?
Hey you, don’t help them to bury the light
Don’t give in without a fight.

Hey you, out there on your own
Sitting naked by the phone
Would you touch me?
Hey you, with you ear against the wall
Waiting for someone to call out
Would you touch me?
Hey you, would you help me to carry the stone?
Open your heart, I’m coming home.

But it was only fantasy.
The wall was too high,
As you can see.
No matter how he tried,
He could not break free.
And the worms ate into his brain.

Hey you, standing in the road
Always doing what you’re told,
Can you help me?
Hey you, out there beyond the wall,
Breaking bottles in the hall,
Can you help me?
Hey you, don’t tell me there’s no hope at all
Together we stand, divided we fall.

Well, only got an hour of daylight left. better get started
Isnt it unsafe to travel at night?
It’ll be a lot less safe to stay here. you’re father’s gunna pick up our trail before long
Can loca ride?
Yeah, I can ride... magaret, time to go! maigret, thank you for everything
Goodbye chenga
Goodbye miss ...
I’ll be back

This song is the best ever. The intricate string work by Gilmore, the percussion courtesy Mason and the wonderful voice of Roger Waters combine to melt u in pure ecstasy.
Just 3 words-Floyd is God....

11 things i hate about Madras.

1. The Heat....it kills ya.period!And you sweat like no pig has ever before.

2. The auto wallahs...Those fucking bastards...if patience aint 1 of ur virtues then dont talk to them and dont faint at the rates that they charge. Dont get fooled by the smile on the their faces or the meter inside the autos as the former lasts only till you step inside and park your rear and the latter hasnt worked since Alexander went on a rampage.According to them, Petrol rates increase daily(Do they think mani shankar aiyar will be alive if that happens) and there are 1 ways galore (Obviously they have nt been to Bangalore).

3. The seat blocking mechanisms on display in buses.A handkerchief covered with phlegm or a cap as dirty as Llleyton Hewits` or a bag given free by nalli or pothy s or chennai silks or any of the zillion stores on usman road, on the seat mean that it is reserved and u better acknowledge that by not sitting there.Reminds me of the way cheetahs etc mark their territory by peeing.

4. The mouthful of obscenities that i hear after i have thrown that handkerchief outta the nearest window. But i love the fact that i dont understand the abuses that are hurled at me.

5. CAS- Conditional access system or Set Top Box.The 1 week or so that i am here i have no access to HBO,Star or any of the sports channels.Not watching my beloved Arsenal in action is a blow below the belt.

6. The fact that there is an alcohol shop almost everywhere.Every third shop seems to be a liquor selling one and have enough people standing outside to cause a traffic jam.

7. The absence of multiplexes.Boy, for a metropolitan this city has very few good quality theatres.If u want to watch a movie then u head to Satyam..plain and simple.Cos there are very few other multiplexes and the ones that are there exist far far away.

8. Hang out spots. The number of places where u can have fun and really chill out can be counted on thy fingers.Elliots Beach, Coffee day and a few other places are where you ll find all the crowds on a weekend.There is no versaility like say a delhi or a bangalore.

9. Food. This city loses out again on this count.You are not exactly spoilt for choice. No Mcds, no wimpy means that most Chennai people have no idea how a good burger tastes. Marrybrown sucks and so does that place on greames road. And someone please tell me what happened to that super place near the adyar flyover where one used to get those super duper burgers for 15 bucks.

10. Dress sense. I am not talking abt everyone wearing stuff designed by some fancy designer or show off the nike or adidas logos but at least where something that looks good on you for crying out loud.

11. Last but not the least, i hate the looks that i get when i walk on the street or in the bus or trains...why? because i sport a lets say..non-conventional beard (inspired by Robert Pires) and i get looked at as if i am from a yet to be discovered planet.

Beam me up scotty....i dont belong here.

Operation Majnu!

Hot on the heels of Operation Duryodhan comes this. Though this is no sting op but it sure has stung the nation. Beating up couples and that too like dogs is no moral policing. The police says that the park which was in the limelight is a hub for all sorts of ahem...activities.Apparently,couples go beyond just holding hands. If holding hands in public is a crime then you should go and have a look at what all happens in Purana quila,Humayuns tomb and other such "historical" places in Delhi. And as usual the whole thing was politicized and now we have Mayawati and others gunning for Mulayam s neck...you would think she has other pending matters like the Taj corridor scam.
I was watching the coverage of this event on the newly launched CNN-IBN news channel and i was horrified to see that the face of the girls was blurred whereas the faces of the men were shown as it is.How unfair is that?

Ganguly Powar(ed) out of the team

Let me begin by saying that i am no great fan of dada, but even i feel sorry for him..the way in which he has been dumped out of the squad for the third test.It wont be wrong to say that Sourav played a role (Big or small..i ll leave that to the pundits) in our win.His partnership with Sachin was very crucial and knowing the way out lower end crumbles from time to time,it was imperative that he forged a partnership with Sachin.
Flashback...Kiran more,head of the selection committee, bowled a teesra by saying before the first test that Ganguly was being picked as an all-rounder.That was in itself a load of crap.Calling Ganguly that is a major insult to the likes of Kallis and Flintoff.Having said that...How many overs did he ball over the 2 tests..zero,nil,nothing. And then he is dropped and the reason given is that Yuvraj has to play and Ganguly cant be kept in reserves. Who are they to say that Ganguly cant be 12th man and carry drinks?And the replacement for him is Wasim Jaffer-an opener.We already have Sehwag and Gambhir in the team and i dont know why there is a need for 3 openers in the squad for a series at home. If it has been decided that Jaffer will play then Gambhir should have been shown the door.
Make no mistake, i dont hold a grudge against Jaffer..but i just dont see the need.
I wont be surprised if Bahutule,Kambli etc.all make a comeback to the team.As it is we have a player who should nt play for the country(read Agarkar) from Mumbai and now with the shift in power , Mumbai wallahs will be forming a bee line to enter the team.

3 degrees and dipping

When a guy has to go to the loo every half hour....to just pee, you know that its cold.Snow fall in Jammu meant that cold winds reached the capital and sent the mercury tumbling down. Gloves,woolen socks etc. were pressed into action on a day that made wearing multiple clothes mandatory.I am moaning, not beacuse of the temperature but because of the fact that we had to call off a Badminton session.There is something about playing sport at 12 in the night,under flood lights and when it is very very cold.anyways,before i take off on another tangent,lemme just say....watch out delhi,its going to be extremely cold this winter.Luckily, sun has been kind enough to make an appearance in the day to provide some relief and more luckily, there has nt been any signs of fog.Lets hope it stays that way.

YOu beauty!

Finally, the wait is over and Sachin got his 35th.What can we say?This man is a genius.This record will stay for a long long time.Many Congratulations to the greatest batsman of our time.May he score many many more tonnes and keep helping India win.

My 1:30 AM songs

The following in this particular order(dont ask why)-

Aawarapan Banjarapan (MM Kreem has an awesome voice)

Koi Roko Na Deewane Ko (From Priyatama, sung by god himself)

Elangathu (From Pithamagan,Though I cant understand the lyrics at all)

Comfortably Numb (Minus vodka or dope)

Dil mera ek tara (Cos i drool over Dippanita!)

Najaane kyon (Bilal and Faizal rock)

With or without you(What can i say abt bono that hasnt been said already)

Toxicity (By System of a Down)

Estranged (GNR..these guys cud v split now but when they churned it out they were awesome..Axle,Slash and Matt Sorum..get back together?)

Unforgiven 2 (The door is closed, so are your eyes But now I see the sun, now I see the sun)

Dreamer (Ozzy)..because i am.....

Let it snow (Frank Sinatra)

Laloo ki laltern bhuj gayi

Finally, Bihar will see someone in power who is not Laloo Prasad Yadav or his wife or his brother or his wife s brother. The writing was very much on the wall early in the year but its now plastered firmly on the wall and in laloo s face.Blame it on communal forces or on Ram vilas paswan or anti-incumbency or santa claus, the truth is that u v lost sir and u d better get ready to sit in the opposition side of the Assembly.Lets just hope that the promise made by Laloo that Bihar will be put on the path of progress and that Biharis will not have to go outside their state for employment will finally be acted upon by Nitish Kumar. Here s wishing him all the best.It will now be loads of fun to see the reprucussions of this loss at the Centre.

Of Sania and flaring tempers

"There is a fine line between being aggressive and being arrogant.I am aggressive and not arrogant".This in response to a question on her attitude in an interview recently.Frankly speaking she had crossed that line soon after her match against Serena Williams last year.Why do people find it so hard to keep their feet on their ground after meeting with a little success is beyond me.She is great for the game in the country no doubt but with success comes responsibility and thats something Madam Mirza has still to learn. I dont have a problem with her T shirts or the fact that she cant serve but walking out of press-conferences mid way is just not acceptable.Last week s incident was not only an insult to the firm for which she is doing an ad-campaign but also to a certain Mohanlal who was also present there.Either keep your mouth shut when asked for an opinion on controversial topics like pre-marital sex or be prepared to peppered further even if your addressing the media on other matters. BTW,can non-muslim, non-clerics issue a fatwa?

Danish disaster

Will Michael learn to rock ever?

Course not...Their brand of "soulful pop music" is a sucker to the core.Personally, the fact that these bunch of buffoons are allowed to do live concerts is a disgrace. Me thinks that they are a group of knock off artists. The sad part is that some Indians listen to this load of crap as was evident in the recent concert in Mumbai. I can say with total conviction that the organizers dont understand the m of music.MLTR s music is aimed at young lovers.I know that love is blind, how i wish that it were deaf too....Their attempt at "brutal planet" results in a "25 minutes".The lead singer - a gayish looking guy by the name of Jascha Richter thinks that he is carrying forth the work(awesome if i may add) done by Kurt Cobain.Lead guitarist Mikkel Lentz goes abt his work as if he is Jimi Hendrix reincarnated.I am done man.This is as much publicity that these guys can get on my blog.MLTR should probably stand for Meaningless Lousy and Torturous Rubbish(sorry ppl..this is the best combination of adjectives that i cud come up in the spur of the moment). You go ahead and see if u can better it....

Tam Brahm Chick Vs Mallu Christian Chick

This has always been a bone of contention for us guys back at coll.At times it has been given as much importance as a Manu V Arsenal (Sorry Chelsea u never figure in such hotly contested debates cos ur after all only a Roman mob save Frank Lampard).One camp seemed to think that Tam brahm girls are the complete package, a theory that had my backing not only because i come from the same community but also because thats what comes across from experience. And then there was the other group which backed the Mallu Christian babe because according to them they ooze oomph and are cool and classy(which are all terms that are very subjective). Since it used to crop up so often in our conversations, i think that it merits a thread on my blog.
The Tamil Brahmin woman has come a long way. She s no longer the simple girl with her head dripping Parachute oil and with "Malli poo" following her everywhere she goes.She s evolved beautifully from the culture shock that shes been in the grasp of and no longer believes in "maddi","6 and 9 Gajam Sarees" and all other such crap that she gets a dose of from her mother right from birth.Infact she is now going places. She has broken free from the chains of conservationalism that have always pinned her down and she s now in ur face. You mess with her and she ll give it back to you..with interest..compounded, if i may add.She no longer marries the Software Engineer from US that her parents fix up. Her music interests no longer lie solely with Carnatic music but she now is an ardent listener of Metallica,U2...the works.She will now make her own choices. She wont be content with a Bachelors degree but wants to get into stem cell research and optical physics.She nowwears a T shirt that says "Bite me" without the fear of falling prey to some arbitary person s prejudice. Basically,its her way or the highway.All in all most things abt her rock baring her mother who can be a pain in the wrong place especially if ur dating her daughter.....
My perspective of the Mallu Christian woman is that she s very sophisticated.Whether its just superficial and they are indeed(oops) hollow from the inside is a pt of debate.Beauty after all is only skin deep. though there is no denying the fact that this woman knows how to carry herself.An indicator of this is that almost every receptionist and Ait Hostess seems to be one of them and u cant but help give em a second look.Setting the dance floor ablaze seems to be an inherent quality in most of them.
I know that i dont have the power of generalizing and there is no thumb rule when it comes to such comparisons. Thats why there might be the odd case where i might be way off the mark.
Wat say you?

You can run but you cant hide

No, i am not quoting Joe Louis on the eve of his fight against then light heavyweight champion Billy Conn but infact thats what Delhi seems to be saying to all the women residing here.I am f*****g bugged,appalled and simply frustrated at the crime against women.For those of you who speak statistics...there is 1 rape in the capital every 10 mins or so. Another astonishing stat is that only 20% of such incidents get reported. The sad part is that its become a way of life here.

What really is the problem here?Is security too lax?-Yes, Are the laws not stringent enough?-For me,Yes.Though capital punishment maybe toooo harsh for culprits but i think that some kind of severe punishment must be dished out.1 of my female friends suggested castrating the person who commits such horrendous crimes.hmmm..The lady probably has a point in that this would serve as an example and deter other men from doing so but i think i ll reserve my judgement on this one.Do all these men, who indulge in such dreadful things, find it so hard to control their libido? One school of thought (1 thats still in the stone age) suggests that women provoke men by wearing "revealing" clothes.WTF? If ever there was a lame excuse. Someone tell them that this is the 21 st century and moral policing doesnt work.These ppl will probably suggest a dress code for women next..what a farce.

Metro stations,Parking lots and generally anywhere is no longer safe for women. Very soon we will be hearing rapes reported inside the Rashtrapati Bhawan or still worse..the PM s office. Personally, this whole scenario is sad and unfortunate because it takes the gloss off an otherwise splendid city. The only people not complaining?....the pepper spray manufacturers.

He is back

Drafted back into the first team earlier then expected,Titi announced his arrival with a bang. 2 goals and a splendid performance means that Arsenal stroll through a relatively tough trip away from home to Prague. The icing on the cake is that he is now ahead of Ian Wright and is the all time highest scorer for Arsenal with 186 goals.All in all a thoroughly professional performance from the guys. Two screamers from Henry,a clean sheet and a win away from home...can i ask for more. Watch out Manchester city and David James.

Master of the Game

I will not use phrases like "maturing with wine" because there is nothing cliched about
DB10.In an age where money dominates loyalty, this man has stood out.He has been giving
football fans all over the world something to cheer about for over a decade now.The Dutch
Master,Dennis the Menace,The best ever import to the EPl,The footballer with the best
first touch-are just a few praises showered on this guy.For me, the qualities that really
stand out are -his work ethic, tremendous skill,technical ability and consistency in a
sport which is relentless and unforgiving.Signed from Inter Milan by Steve Ricoh in 1995
he has been a great servant to The Arsenal.He has given tonnes of magical moments to
gooners and oranje faithful throughout his illustrious career.His goals against Newcastle
and leicester were voted amongst the top 10 all time best goals in the EPL.His goal for
Holland against Argentina, when he took down a long pass and turned a world class defender
like Ayala on his head and slotted past a stunned keeper stands out.How often have we
heard a commentator say that Bergkamp can "see a pass", but to actually put that into
practice is a different ball game altogether, and this is something that our man can do
with ease and that too at the top level against players of world class ability.He is a
role model for many a young and aspiring footballer.Here is a man who has managed to keep
his feet firmly on the ground despite reaching dizzy heights and achieving unparalleled
success.All great things come to an end and as we see Dennis playing his last season at
the top level with same grit,vigour and determination as his first, we can just look at
him in awe and marvel at his achievements.He has left an indelible mark on the game and
his goals and achievements will be itched in the memory of all his supporters
for ever.

Bill Law(e)ry

How many times have we woken up at 5 in the morning to watch the action from down under and heard the words "Welcome to the Adelaide Oval".Having been brought up on a diet of this guy s commentary i think i ought to dedicate a few lines to this man.Along with Richie Benaud,Ian Chappell and others, he has been the voice of Channel9 s excellent coverage of cricket in Australia.Few of his gems are -"he is hit that clean as a whistle","its all happening here".Even though his loyalty lies with Australia but i have never seen him biased in his opinion, which is the hallmark of a good cricket analyst.For me, one of the greatest moments in Cricket was when An 18 year old by the name of Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar was smashing the likes of Mcdermott, Alderman and Hughes to all parts of the ground on a minefield of a pitch at Perth.There was this one particular shot when he played Hughes down the ground with all the audacity in the world and the icing on the cake was when Lawry exclaimed over the microphone "What a shot. Stand up and applaud". Another instance where Lawry was seen at his best was during the 1999 semifinal between the aussies and the proteas.The last over of that game is itched in the memory of cricket lovers for ever.The last few overs of that match saw Bill Lawry and Mike Procter on air and they were almost at logger heads. When Klusener hit 2 boundaries of consecutive balls from fleming, Procter was ecstatic but after the last ball run out, Lawry came into his own and in his own "unorthodox" manner gave vent to all his emotions.That was 1 moment where we can forgive him for not being neutral.He does not have an accent of some1 educated at Oxford nor does he posess the world s most sweetest voice but the passion and sincerity that come through with his voice are indisputable and an absolute joy. His commentary is synonymous with action packed cricket and he is a treat to the ear.For once, i have to agree with Ted Corbett when he says that Bill Lawry is an international treasure.There is noone who calls cricket like him. May he keep all of us entertained like he has always done.

Ordeal at midnight

Here i was flipping through the channels at 1 in the night and i stumble across a movie with u know who as the leading man?Mr. Sonu Nigam..yup the same deewana guy who used to host that sa re ga ma voice hunt thingie few years back.All you have to do is watch this movie for 30 secs to realize that he does not qualify as "leading" or as "man".Let me elaborate...in 1 particular scene he is seen smoking cuban cigars with a martini in hand. I had not bothered to hear what he was saying to the bartender but i wont be surprised if he wanted his martini shaken but not stirred(eat ur heart out 007).Then there is this moment when he kisses the female(who i must admit i really did fancy)... I am now sure why this guy s first marriage did not last even a year cos the way he kissed gave me the feeling that he was searching for straw berries inside the lady s mouth. Grow up dude...10 year olds can kiss better.Another point of debate would me Mr hero s side burns.I cant even begin putting in words, those 2 lines that originated from near his ears and kinda met in the centre somewhere near the chin.He has now had what 4 bites at the cherry(movies) and always seems to come up with something that closely resembles an unmitigated disaster. The funniest part is that he does it with an arrogance on his face and loads of conviction, almost like Marlan Brando in Godfather. On a scale of 1 to 10 i ll have to give him a negative 5. Phew.. i v seen better perfromances on Ram lila stage events.Please spare us the
torture and stick to what u do well..singing.

Elegant Elena

Great things come in small packages. Cliched but very true in this case This babe might not have the looks of Anna Kournikova or the looks and game of Maria Sharapova but she is a piece of work.One can be forgiven for thinking that she is just another one in the russian brigade that has taken the WTA by storm but she stands out.I say that not because she s a long legged blonde with the most beautiful smile on god s earth(if you buy that?) but also because of the way she carries herself on the court and boy..can she hit a ball. Her consistency has meant that she s right up there in terms of ranking.She single handedly won the Fed Cup for Russia this year(though she has a double fisted backhand), which is surely a feather in her cap.Dont let her frail physique fool you cos this lady packs a punch.This pony tailed beauty is a treat for the eye and you just cant have enough of her.

Will Titi leave?

I really wanted to choose a non-sport theme for my next post but this is something that i had to take off my chest and something that has been giving me sleepless nights.
Will Thierry Henry leave THOF(Arsenal Football Club)?
This is the million dollar question facing all associated with this Club.
Henry s delaying of contract talks is sending wrong signals to his supporters.The only person who is managing to remain calm during this whole episode is the gaffer. El prof is very positive about the chances of getting his main man to sign on. Henry s loyalty to his club is beyond doubt, but does this come at a price?
He started out as a raw talent at monaco and juventus who would run up and down the left flank withour purpose.Arsene brought him and transformed him into the world s best player(Though Ronaldinho might have something to say about that).He is now feared all over Europe and has given many a sleepless night to defenders.I was surprised when i found out recently that he has a better strike rate in Champions league than Shevchenko.Strange- mainly because of the criticism thats dished out to him over his ineffectiveness at the european stage.Personally i think that it is his absolute dominance in the premiere league that makes people talk about his European performances. Who can forget the hattrick at the Stadio Olympico against a star studded roma side or the stunning performance against inter at the Guiseppe meaza "san siro" when he made veterans like mataraze,toldo look pedestrian.
The Arsenal team of the late 1990s was full of french players.Henry,Pires,Vieira,Petit,Grimandi and later on Wiltord made up the bulk of the squad.So much so that the tabloids cried out "Arsenal win the world cup" after France 1998.But now with Petit retiring,Vieira and Wiltord applying their trade elsewhere only pires and henry are left, though there are a few young french players like flamini and clichy in the squad.Though Henry s almost part english now, but the lack of fellow country men at club level might make him leave. Vieira left for Juventus in the summer and Pires is only a shadow of the player that he once was(thought i think he ll regain form soon) and the chances of him leaving look pretty high at the moment. Henry has come out saying in recent times that he needs to win the champions league.Thats a fair comment because thats the only medal missing from his otherwise impressive collection.He will also get higher weekly wages at other clubs which might be a factor.
Looking at this issue from the club s perspective, the brand new Emirates stadium at Ashburton grove,will be ready for the start of the 2006-2007 season.The debts are estimated to be in the region of 200 Million USD at present. Will they be able to turn down a lucrative offer for Henry?David Dein had reiterated time and again that Henry s indispensable but the growing debts might make him rethink.
If Henry does leave then there is a strong chance that he might end up at the Camp Nou.Juan Laporta has made no bones abou the fact that he is after Henry and has in fact gone to the press saying that he will get his man in the summer.That will be a sight to behold,Henry Ronaldinho and co running at defenses.
Being a die hard Arsenal Supporter my heart says that he will overcome the temptation and stay on.Also,Wenger will play a huge role in persudaing him to stay as he has plans of building a team around henry. He is also smart enought to know that letting Henry leave means that he will have to find a striker to replace him very soon and thats next to impossible.
I expect Titi to sign the extension in the next few days and put an end to all the rumours.