An Open Letter

Dear Dr. Manmohan Singh,

I returned home late in the evening a few days back to watch your so called "Address to the nation" in the aftermath of the Bombay blasts. Sir, I have the greatest of respects for you and I believe that in you, our nation has a very capable man at the helm. But your address to the nation was appalling to say the least.I realize that you are a moderate every which way but i am sure the fact that nearly 200 of our innocent brothers and sisters lost their lives is reason enough to bring in some compassion in your voice.I got the feeling that you simply read off the teleprompter.

As a citizen, I was expecting to see some passion in your voice and fire in the eyes and you had neither. I did not expect to hear you say that we will nuke the neighbours but what was so disappointing was the tone in which you presented the address.

Sir, it pains me to hear about the newly wed woman who lost her husband, the mother whose son had wanted to come home to cook dinner but instead fell victim to this act of terrorism. My heart goes out to all the victims and their kin and i feel helpless sitting here in an Airconditioned room sipping tea.

I am not doubting the fact that you would have been hurt too ..like me.But pray listen..If you do not bring the emotion out through your voice or the show some aggressive body language then I really dont see the point in talking to the people of the country.

Sincerely

World cup 2006 - Best Moment

One of the best moments in the World Cup for me was the exchange of shirts between Zindeine Zidane and Luis Figo after the semifinal between France and Portugal. I remember Harsha Bhogle saying something like " I don't understand why some players exchange jerseys right at the end. You would want to walk off the park wearing your country s jersey"

Dude you will never understand.

It was a great moment between two of the world s greatest players. Both playing their final World Cup s and both showing that class is permanent.

It brought back memories of that Uefa Champions League final when Zidane and Figo took on Effenberg and demolished him and his side. It is a pity that we will not be seeing the likes on the field again but very lucky that we have been able to watch them when they were at the peak of their powers.

This for me has been the best moment of the World Cup 2006.

An Ode!

This post is dedicated to the CD that got me through 4 years of College.
The College was no less than a detention camp located at a godforsaken place.
I bought it in a shop at Palika Bazaar for 30 bucks (After severe bargaining and bringing the price down from an exorbitant Rs. 150).
It was a compilation of songs by the legendary Kishore Kumar.
It had most of his gems from Aate jate khoobsurat to Zindagi ke safar mein with masterpieces like Deewana leke aaya hai, Mere Naina Sawan Bhadon thrown in between.
With no access to FM and no Computer this CD and the CD man were my only source of pleasure for about 4 years.
I wonder if i would have survived without it......

Why?

Why...

Do people spit on the road?

Do i always get the middle seat on flights when i want the aisle one?

Do i get so excited when i hear the Champions League theme and see henry curling one past Cannizares(something i have seen about a 1000 times)?

Is Ponting being allowed to rake in century after century with a Graphite bat?

Did X-files go off air?

Does Advani undertake so many "Yatras"?

Dont some ppl grow up? ahem...

Did Rahul Mahajan have to snort cocaine and get caught?

Do people call Gandhi father of the country when he was a big @ssol?

Does Sidhu open his mouth?

The phenom...(No, not Ronaldo)

Ah there it is, i said as my connecting bus to office arrived. Didnt have to wait for more than 5 mins today...life is good, i thought as i entered the bus and took a seat right at the end. I had just settled down and was about to take out "The Caine mutiny" (I know, havent read it..kick me when u see me next) when it happened. A loud noise emanated from the speaker just above me. "Ek bar aaja aaja aaja aaja aaaaaja". Oh shit, here we go.....

For those of you who came in late, Himesh reshammiya is a superstar..apparently. He is No. 1 on all charts all over the Northern half of the country. He remixes old songs and remixes the previously remixed songs. The shriek that actually is an essential part of his "singing" voice should not be confused as the voice of somebody whose pants are on fire, trying to wriggle out. This voice emanates from within with utmost fury and comes out to hit you in the face. The problem gets compounded by the fact that it comes out of the nose more than the mouth, and you thought Udit Narayan was the expert at that, wait till you hear this guy.

Basically, he is a truck load of Dog s poo. But then, I ll probably be taken to task if i dare say this to many of my friends who swear by him. The sad part is that the bus wallahs play his songs over and over again. The 45 min ride from CP to IIT Gate actually seems more like a lifetime. Trust me folks, there is no hiding. FM, Tape...he is everywhere. One of the bike ads also play his songs now.

"I will only sing for A.R. Rahman and noone else"..he says. Dude, go fly a kite...

Why he is such a hit, i ll never know.

hmmm....vivacious

There is nothing which turns me on more, than a woman talking about Football. Lets face it... most women dont understand the F of Football and to some Arsenic and Arsenal are the same.They think that David Beckham is the best player in the world...arrrghhhhh.

Ok then, her name is Mayanti and when she says " Novi, Lincoln and Kuranyi linked well", my heart skips a beat. Her good looks are secondary only to her knowledge of the game which never ceases to amaze me.

I am not going to say that she is another Amy Lawrence in the making but she sure has the potential and she doesnt have to wear designer sarees with spahagetti-strap blouses to get attention.

Rock on girl!

Have you ever prayed that a person twists his knee or ankle, breaks his leg, gets hit by lightening..or something like that...
I have (am) and his name is Juan Roman Riquelme.

Pakistani post match interviews

Inzamam

First of all I thank Gaad (God) - Bismillah e rahman e rahim. Alla tala ka shuker
Bayj (Boys) played well....ladkon ne mehnat kee hai.

Moin Khan

We lost couple of early wickets in the middle of the innings.

Saqlain Mushtaq (after winning the man of the match)

Today good bowling so award, tomorrow also good bowling.

And i am not even getting into what Afridi and Akthar say.

One Heckuva ride!

"Sabji train kitne baje hai" (What time does the train leave?), asked the driver as i entered the cab. 3:30 i told him. "Thoda jaldi nikalna tha fir" (Should have left a little early), he said. When i asked why he said - "Aab kya bataaon saab, ek aad peg maar rakhi hai" (I am slightly drunk).
It was Holi and the celebrations were just about over....

Ok then buster, drive carefully i thought as we picked up my colleague and left for the station. Whether he had seen Alonso in action a few days back or he was just totally sloshed...The exact reason remains unknown but what is known is that i am very lucky to be writing this.
"bhaiya dheere chalo hum ko jaldi nahi hai" (Slow down, we are in no hurry) - I told him as i saw the speedo touch 80 and a poor guy on a cycle fell by the wayside.
"Sir aap to issi pe dar gaye, mein to Chandigarh teen ghante mein laga deta hoon" (U worry for no reason, i reach chandigarh in 3 hrs flat)..."Mera mood mat kharab kijiye" (Please dont spoil my mood), he added as we screamed past a signal at the rate of knots. He was totally oblivious of the traffic constable who was blowing his signal like mad, the honking of about a zillion horns around us and most importantly the red signal. By now it was very clear that the effects of the bhang were in their prime and our man was a man possessed.

"Bhen ke...Teri ma" (@#@#), He shouted at a guy on a scooter who was guilty of not giving us room to overtake. India gate came and went in no time.
"Sir G hum to gadi ki steering chor kar chat pe beth jata hoon, hawa khane ke liye" (I leave the steering and sit on the roof sometimes to catch the wind on my face). He then took and unbelievable turn at 90kmph. The wheels shrieked as he almost ran over an old lady. He then followed that up with that " I have got wings" manoeuvre, last seen from Jason Gillespie when Very Very Special Laxman was thrashiing the Aussies all around Eden Gardens, by leaving the steering for about 10 secs. I had my heart in my mouth and probably a look on my face that was priceless.

By the time he had dropped us at the station, i was still in a state of shock and my colleague looked like he had suffered multiple organ failure. He dropped us and took off like a man on a mission..

Of Professor s and peeing

One of the most awkward places to meet ur prof is in the urinal.Damn!I just hate it when it happens.Thankfully, its a thing of the past. No i still pee, i meant the prof part..i am not in college anymore. U just dont know what to do. A million questions race through ur mind.

Am i supposed to start up a converstaion?
No i cant talk to him or he might remember that the assignment was due today.And i hardly open my mouth in class so this wont look good.

Should i just stand there and do my thing while he does his?
What if he says as usual that we are like dead duds and dont interact?
How do u interact with ur Prof in the bloody loo?


Do i look up or look down?If down then down where?
Why the hell is he taking so long anyway? What the hell did he drink in the morning?
What the hell did i drink in the morning?
Is that slab in between high enough?
God, why have u made me so tall..?


I remember one such situation. I had just given a presentation in the auditorium and the cumulative effects of Coffee and the air-conditioning were beginning to take its toll.So as soon as my presentation was over, i rushed out to relieve myself.As i started the process, my Prof barged in. Well he is human too and he drinks coffee too, so...

Me: errrr...Good afternoon sir!*Did he hear me whistling?*

Him: Hello.*no he didnt*. That was one good presentation.

Me: Thank u sir

Him: Where r u doing ur research?

Me: *Yeah right, dont u understand the gravity of the situation?Am i the only 1 who is finding this uncomfortable?* IIT Delhi sir.

Him: alright. Did u check out the latest ENVIS newsletter?Its got a beautiful article on biopolymers (My research topic).

Me: *Only thing that i check out in the library is the librarian.Boy oh boy! She s a piece of work* No sir, I ll do it right away.

Him: Also I have this friend at NCL. Remind me to mail him and i ll see if he can help you with the Literature survey.

Me: Definitely sir.Thanks.Thats kind of you.

Him:So how do u plan to blend the lactic acid and the film grade polyethylene?

Me: Sir i am gonna use a blender and a film blower..........

So there we were, Prof and the student discussing the finer aspects of synthesizing biopolymers from waste ...standing adjacent in the urinal stand in the toilet of the Department, letting the ideas flow amongst other things....

What a week Already!

A-Rod lost
India s getting hammered all over the park
and Arsenal are out of the League Cup.

God, why are u doing this to me ?
Why put me through this ignominy?

Hey You

Hey you, out there in the cold

Getting lonely, getting old
Can you feel me?
Hey you, standing in the aisles
With itchy feet and fading smiles
Can you feel me?
Hey you, don’t help them to bury the light
Don’t give in without a fight.

Hey you, out there on your own
Sitting naked by the phone
Would you touch me?
Hey you, with you ear against the wall
Waiting for someone to call out
Would you touch me?
Hey you, would you help me to carry the stone?
Open your heart, I’m coming home.

But it was only fantasy.
The wall was too high,
As you can see.
No matter how he tried,
He could not break free.
And the worms ate into his brain.

Hey you, standing in the road
Always doing what you’re told,
Can you help me?
Hey you, out there beyond the wall,
Breaking bottles in the hall,
Can you help me?
Hey you, don’t tell me there’s no hope at all
Together we stand, divided we fall.

Well, only got an hour of daylight left. better get started
Isnt it unsafe to travel at night?
It’ll be a lot less safe to stay here. you’re father’s gunna pick up our trail before long
Can loca ride?
Yeah, I can ride... magaret, time to go! maigret, thank you for everything
Goodbye chenga
Goodbye miss ...
I’ll be back

This song is the best ever. The intricate string work by Gilmore, the percussion courtesy Mason and the wonderful voice of Roger Waters combine to melt u in pure ecstasy.
Just 3 words-Floyd is God....

11 things i hate about Madras.

1. The Heat....it kills ya.period!And you sweat like no pig has ever before.

2. The auto wallahs...Those fucking bastards...if patience aint 1 of ur virtues then dont talk to them and dont faint at the rates that they charge. Dont get fooled by the smile on the their faces or the meter inside the autos as the former lasts only till you step inside and park your rear and the latter hasnt worked since Alexander went on a rampage.According to them, Petrol rates increase daily(Do they think mani shankar aiyar will be alive if that happens) and there are 1 ways galore (Obviously they have nt been to Bangalore).

3. The seat blocking mechanisms on display in buses.A handkerchief covered with phlegm or a cap as dirty as Llleyton Hewits` or a bag given free by nalli or pothy s or chennai silks or any of the zillion stores on usman road, on the seat mean that it is reserved and u better acknowledge that by not sitting there.Reminds me of the way cheetahs etc mark their territory by peeing.

4. The mouthful of obscenities that i hear after i have thrown that handkerchief outta the nearest window. But i love the fact that i dont understand the abuses that are hurled at me.

5. CAS- Conditional access system or Set Top Box.The 1 week or so that i am here i have no access to HBO,Star or any of the sports channels.Not watching my beloved Arsenal in action is a blow below the belt.

6. The fact that there is an alcohol shop almost everywhere.Every third shop seems to be a liquor selling one and have enough people standing outside to cause a traffic jam.

7. The absence of multiplexes.Boy, for a metropolitan this city has very few good quality theatres.If u want to watch a movie then u head to Satyam..plain and simple.Cos there are very few other multiplexes and the ones that are there exist far far away.

8. Hang out spots. The number of places where u can have fun and really chill out can be counted on thy fingers.Elliots Beach, Coffee day and a few other places are where you ll find all the crowds on a weekend.There is no versaility like say a delhi or a bangalore.

9. Food. This city loses out again on this count.You are not exactly spoilt for choice. No Mcds, no wimpy means that most Chennai people have no idea how a good burger tastes. Marrybrown sucks and so does that place on greames road. And someone please tell me what happened to that super place near the adyar flyover where one used to get those super duper burgers for 15 bucks.

10. Dress sense. I am not talking abt everyone wearing stuff designed by some fancy designer or show off the nike or adidas logos but at least where something that looks good on you for crying out loud.

11. Last but not the least, i hate the looks that i get when i walk on the street or in the bus or trains...why? because i sport a lets say..non-conventional beard (inspired by Robert Pires) and i get looked at as if i am from a yet to be discovered planet.

Beam me up scotty....i dont belong here.

Operation Majnu!

Hot on the heels of Operation Duryodhan comes this. Though this is no sting op but it sure has stung the nation. Beating up couples and that too like dogs is no moral policing. The police says that the park which was in the limelight is a hub for all sorts of ahem...activities.Apparently,couples go beyond just holding hands. If holding hands in public is a crime then you should go and have a look at what all happens in Purana quila,Humayuns tomb and other such "historical" places in Delhi. And as usual the whole thing was politicized and now we have Mayawati and others gunning for Mulayam s neck...you would think she has other pending matters like the Taj corridor scam.
I was watching the coverage of this event on the newly launched CNN-IBN news channel and i was horrified to see that the face of the girls was blurred whereas the faces of the men were shown as it is.How unfair is that?

Ganguly Powar(ed) out of the team

Let me begin by saying that i am no great fan of dada, but even i feel sorry for him..the way in which he has been dumped out of the squad for the third test.It wont be wrong to say that Sourav played a role (Big or small..i ll leave that to the pundits) in our win.His partnership with Sachin was very crucial and knowing the way out lower end crumbles from time to time,it was imperative that he forged a partnership with Sachin.
Flashback...Kiran more,head of the selection committee, bowled a teesra by saying before the first test that Ganguly was being picked as an all-rounder.That was in itself a load of crap.Calling Ganguly that is a major insult to the likes of Kallis and Flintoff.Having said that...How many overs did he ball over the 2 tests..zero,nil,nothing. And then he is dropped and the reason given is that Yuvraj has to play and Ganguly cant be kept in reserves. Who are they to say that Ganguly cant be 12th man and carry drinks?And the replacement for him is Wasim Jaffer-an opener.We already have Sehwag and Gambhir in the team and i dont know why there is a need for 3 openers in the squad for a series at home. If it has been decided that Jaffer will play then Gambhir should have been shown the door.
Make no mistake, i dont hold a grudge against Jaffer..but i just dont see the need.
I wont be surprised if Bahutule,Kambli etc.all make a comeback to the team.As it is we have a player who should nt play for the country(read Agarkar) from Mumbai and now with the shift in power , Mumbai wallahs will be forming a bee line to enter the team.

3 degrees and dipping

When a guy has to go to the loo every half hour....to just pee, you know that its cold.Snow fall in Jammu meant that cold winds reached the capital and sent the mercury tumbling down. Gloves,woolen socks etc. were pressed into action on a day that made wearing multiple clothes mandatory.I am moaning, not beacuse of the temperature but because of the fact that we had to call off a Badminton session.There is something about playing sport at 12 in the night,under flood lights and when it is very very cold.anyways,before i take off on another tangent,lemme just say....watch out delhi,its going to be extremely cold this winter.Luckily, sun has been kind enough to make an appearance in the day to provide some relief and more luckily, there has nt been any signs of fog.Lets hope it stays that way.

YOu beauty!

Finally, the wait is over and Sachin got his 35th.What can we say?This man is a genius.This record will stay for a long long time.Many Congratulations to the greatest batsman of our time.May he score many many more tonnes and keep helping India win.

My 1:30 AM songs

The following in this particular order(dont ask why)-

Aawarapan Banjarapan (MM Kreem has an awesome voice)

Koi Roko Na Deewane Ko (From Priyatama, sung by god himself)

Elangathu (From Pithamagan,Though I cant understand the lyrics at all)

Comfortably Numb (Minus vodka or dope)

Dil mera ek tara (Cos i drool over Dippanita!)

Najaane kyon (Bilal and Faizal rock)

With or without you(What can i say abt bono that hasnt been said already)

Toxicity (By System of a Down)

Estranged (GNR..these guys cud v split now but when they churned it out they were awesome..Axle,Slash and Matt Sorum..get back together?)

Unforgiven 2 (The door is closed, so are your eyes But now I see the sun, now I see the sun)

Dreamer (Ozzy)..because i am.....

Let it snow (Frank Sinatra)

Laloo ki laltern bhuj gayi

Finally, Bihar will see someone in power who is not Laloo Prasad Yadav or his wife or his brother or his wife s brother. The writing was very much on the wall early in the year but its now plastered firmly on the wall and in laloo s face.Blame it on communal forces or on Ram vilas paswan or anti-incumbency or santa claus, the truth is that u v lost sir and u d better get ready to sit in the opposition side of the Assembly.Lets just hope that the promise made by Laloo that Bihar will be put on the path of progress and that Biharis will not have to go outside their state for employment will finally be acted upon by Nitish Kumar. Here s wishing him all the best.It will now be loads of fun to see the reprucussions of this loss at the Centre.

Of Sania and flaring tempers

"There is a fine line between being aggressive and being arrogant.I am aggressive and not arrogant".This in response to a question on her attitude in an interview recently.Frankly speaking she had crossed that line soon after her match against Serena Williams last year.Why do people find it so hard to keep their feet on their ground after meeting with a little success is beyond me.She is great for the game in the country no doubt but with success comes responsibility and thats something Madam Mirza has still to learn. I dont have a problem with her T shirts or the fact that she cant serve but walking out of press-conferences mid way is just not acceptable.Last week s incident was not only an insult to the firm for which she is doing an ad-campaign but also to a certain Mohanlal who was also present there.Either keep your mouth shut when asked for an opinion on controversial topics like pre-marital sex or be prepared to peppered further even if your addressing the media on other matters. BTW,can non-muslim, non-clerics issue a fatwa?